Suffering from third-degree burns from a faulty radiator, Marie Sissoko’s life was turned upside down when she was still just a baby. Barely 11 months old, she had to undergo a multitude of operations so that the organs in her face could function properly again. In other words, so that she could eat, speak, hear and breathe. “This accident had catastrophic consequences,” she confides while explaining that she has kept “major after-effects” on the thighs, face and the rest of the body due to graft scars.
“Without experiencing it, it is very difficult to imagine that a radiator that is too hot can cause so many after-effects.” An accident that could have been avoided. Indeed, as she recalls, it had been reported three times to the building caretaker who had noted this malfunction. But for a reason still unknown, this failure had not been taken into account by the building manager.
Supported by her mother in this difficult time in life, the young girl must face the gaze of others upon her arrival in France, a gaze of distrust which does not help her to feel confident. “Children, at first, were not very open-minded. It was very hard to bear when I was little.”she explains, recalling that at that time she was in the middle of a treatment process. A complicated situation for her but also for her mother. “She must have been very strong because she was getting a lot of comments. People were very indiscreet.” To put an end to this situation, the mother even stopped taking public transport and ended up buying a car. “The goal was not to absorb the comments of everyone and anyone, especially people who didn’t know anything about it.”
“I have never been hidden”
Thanks to the support of her family, Marie manages to live with her difference. However, the young girl feels like she always has to “do more” to feel accepted. “There was a lot of apprehension. I always had to prove myself and have patience to let people know who I am.” A daily effort that she agrees to make thanks to her great mental strength, a strength that she draws from those close to her. “I had this particularity of getting over it because I was absolutely aware of what had happened to me. It was never a secret, it was never taboo,” she confides while expressing gratitude towards her mother. “I was never hidden, on the contrary, and that helped me a lot, a lot. My mother never tried to make me think that I was a lesser person or that I was different from others. I just had to become aware of it.”
An exercise that she succeeds in brilliantly, so much so that she manages to forget her burn. “When I was little, I identified with beautiful women like my sister or stars. In my subconscious, I didn’t look like what I looked like. And it was when I went in front of a mirror that I realized it.”. Finally, it was during adolescence that she truly identified with what she was. A period of construction and identification during which she explains having faced external judgment. “We are very exposed to it”she recalls, explaining that she searched for herself and rebelled a little.
Then, in early adulthood, Marie begins to identify as a woman. She seeks her balance in femininity but finds herself confronted with several obstacles due to her lack of confidence. “Internally, I asked myself a lot of questions,” she confides, explaining that she has finally turned this page. Today, Marie loves herself and explains that she is doing much better despite complicated love stories. “It wasn’t always easy. For me, my worth depended on what I was worth on the outside so I made a lot of mistakes in my love life.”she admits, confiding that she thought she didn’t deserve more than what “came” to her. But now, the young woman has a completely different discourse. “I finally want to experience love. I have the patience to abstain until I find the person who is made for me.”
