Faced with the victim of the fake Brad Pitt, why are we laughing instead of showing empathy?

PSYCHO – The story provoked a flood of mockery, jokes and memes on the Internet. In the show Seven to Eight, TF1 broadcast the testimony of a 53-year-old woman who was the victim of a scam on social networks. Thinking of exchanging with Brad Pitt, she paid 830,000 euros to scammers. But on social networks, his story provoked much more mockery than empathy, from Internet users mocking his supposed gullibility.

After the wave of harassment to which she was subjected, TF1 decided to remove the report from all its online platforms. But the damage is done: why does this affair provoke so little empathy towards this woman, whom the show describes as ruined and having made three suicide attempts? According to psychologists interviewed by HuffPostseveral mechanisms are at work.

First of all, there is the aspect “ too big to be true ». « There are plenty of other situations that generate empathy, because we tell ourselves that it could happen to us.underlines Vanessa Lalo, psychologist specializing in digital practices. But this provokes a moral judgment, implied: “this should not have happened.” » The methods used by scammers, crudely falsified selfies, photos and documents, do not, according to her, help people to empathize.

« It would have been an old person in debt, it might not have been the samesuggests the psychologist. Because to get scammed out of 800,000 euros, you have to have them. And most people don’t have them. So empathy, that is to say the act of putting oneself in someone’s place, does not begin. » The principle is simple: to recognize that someone is a victim, you must be able to put yourself in their place. And if nothing resonates with our reality, we don’t do it.

“In reality, no one is safe”

The second thing that comes into play is the idea that we are often considered to be smarter than others. “ It’s a defense mechanism: we tell ourselves that this couldn’t happen to us.estimates Vanessa Lalo. When in reality, no one is safe. » According to the professional, from the moment we have psychological vulnerabilities, certain narcissistic or self-esteem flaws, “ we can slide towards enormous drifts ».

And this doesn’t just concern people who were not born with digital technology. “ There are plenty of teenagers, for example, who are extorted out of money by scammers on Instagramshe recalls. Perhaps, instead of laughing, we should ask ourselves how we can protect and help these vulnerable people, rather than being complicit in what is happening to them. »

For clinical psychologist Jean-Paul Santoro, creator of the site Psycheclicif this affair has taken on this magnitude, it is also because it is tinged with“ageism and misogyny”. “Would we have reacted the same with a younger man? There would surely be mockery, but perhaps not in the same wayhe believes. On the Internet, there are a lot of attacks on women, which would not be equivalent if they were men, especially when it concerns love or sexuality. »

And yet, the victims of Internet scams, whether linked to romantic scenarios or purely financial, are not only women. “ Single men who get phished with fake Instagram profiles of beautiful girls, there are a lot of them toorecalls Vanessa Lalo. But we don’t talk about it as much, because women talk more, whereas men experience it more as shame and don’t share. »

A harassment mechanism “classic”

For the psychologists interviewed, the “ pseudo-anonymity » conferred by social networks encourages the disinhibition of the people at the origin of the mockery and memes. « On the Internet, it is still often the culture of attack, derision, criticism, where empathy would arrive in real life much more quickly”recalls Jean-Paul Santoro. Which means that this type of story can serve as a “ let off steam ».

It’s all the ambivalence of online interactions. “It’s both an incredible field of creativity and to die for, summarizes Vanessa Lalo. But on the other hand, we use these stories to fuel things that are not the best for improving living together in our society. »

This apparent “ freedom of speech » is amplified by the group effect. “ It is the same classic mechanism that exists in all cases of harassment, online or in “real life”develops Jean-Paul Santoro. These are people who are not necessarily doing well and who unite behind a common target, with the idea that if this person is inferior to them, they are superior. »

Also the responsibility of the media?

The fact of being behind the screen also explains why victims can “ let go of their critical thinking “, even if the ” red flags » may seem obvious from an outside perspective or would be more identifiable in real life.

« The Internet is a lot of emotion and it is amplified by photos, videos, voicesestimates Vanessa Lalo. It’s a different approach than live ping-pong. We can let go of certain very intimate subjects. And as soon as we are in an emotional shift, something is disconnected in critical thinking. We no longer ask any questions. »

For the psychologist, the media also have a responsibility in this generalized lack of empathy. “ By relaying this kind of story, we know very well that it will arouse ridicule. So we also have to ask ourselves what angle could have been chosen in order to generate something else? she emphasizes. But as one news chases another, in two days another story will make the buzz. While this woman will stay broken for years. »

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