her role as a mother inspired her to write a book and put her on stage

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First we have principles, then we have children. The adage is implicit in the book that Virginie Rabier has just released. How to kill the perfect mother? is the title of this 117-page testimonial work, written in a few weeks. As if he was just asking to be brought into the world after years of gestation.

This publication aims to get out of the ideal mom guilt.

From her experience, this resident of The Board encourages us to put things into perspective when it comes to education.

We all start, I think, before and during pregnancy, with the desire to want the best for our children, and to do everything to achieve it. But it's more complicated than that. Being a mother is not a rosy life. This should be learned, or at least the subject of reassuring messages. A baby blows your mind. Besides, when you want to do it perfectly, that's often when everything goes to hell.

Mother of two children

Virginie Rabier knows what she is talking about. Mother of two children who are now adults, she also officiated during 23 years as a speech therapist almost everywhere in France. Passing from la Corse au Bignonstopping at Montpelliershe met some, in her successive offices, “parents who felt like they were losing their footing”.

In what looks like a diary, the author invites us to take the against these situations “where the anger precedes slamming doors “, “where days of overwork follow nights fragmented by the cries of the infant” et “where the lack of desire to go to school poses endless unanswered questions.”

“Take a step back” is undoubtedly the best advice that Virginie Rabier can give. Even if she defends herself “to be a knower”. She also had her angerses crisesher desire to break everything and abandon everything when she could no longer be with her children: “when you have to get up 15 times a night because the pacifier has fallen off” or “when you are summoned to school for the umpteenth time”.

This book is not a succession of recommendations, especially not. This is just the story of my experience.

The author remains humble in relation to all these situations.

In any case, whatever we do, few things will happen as we imagined. Behavior, school careers… Our children are not perfect, just as we are not perfect parents. Besides, who are we to ask them for attitudes that we would not have ourselves? It’s as if we were being told “this is how it is and not otherwise”, “don’t do this, don’t do that”, “you have no choice”… Are we being forced to eat dishes we hate? To read something that doesn't interest us? To be focused all day, when we ourselves are not? We have very top-down education patterns which are often those of a heritage and a society that demands to be exemplary.

A dramatized conference

Even if she realizes that it's not simple and this requires more time, Virginie Rabier invites, on the contrary, to listen better to your children.

For example, when they are little, it is not forbidden to allow them to sleep in your room to have a more peaceful night. This is not going to be addictive. Don't worry, they won't sleep there anymore when they are 15 years old.

For her, you also have to know how to accept “to be sorry” when the anger has risen too high.

All this to make the magic happen. So that the adult and the child recognize each other and find each other. May they learn to love and forgive each other. It is in this apparent disorder that the most beautiful encounter can also arise: that with oneself.

It is in this sense that this mother had set up a joker system with your children. They had the right to refuse to go to school 5 days per year.

Days that I dedicated entirely to them (cinema, walks, baths, etc.). So that everyone can relax.

She also does not fail to criticize the school system in his work. Neither of his two cherubs abused it. Confidence, no doubt.

Of the episodes of life that she staged. In a dramatized conference. The extension of the book.

For me who doesn't like speaking in public, this was another work on me.

She was coached for a few days to transform is delivered in a conference. A first performance has already taken place on the Redon side. Much appreciated. So much so that she has already had other requests. Particularly at Geneston : she will be at Etnik on next Tuesday January 28. On February 26, it's at the Bô theater in Paris that she will go on stage. The opportunity to send some messages to disoriented parents. One day we have children, then we become parents.

How to kill the perfect motherJournal of a (not at all) model parent, published by Lanore, by Virginie Rabier. 123 pages. Price: 13 euros.

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