A Nantaise recounts his traumatic amnesia in a book

Near the Cité des Congrès, sitting in a cafe in our company and that of her husband, a herbal tea in hand, Emmanuelle breathes insurance. Nantes for fifteen years, the forties, married and three children, lived a life which she describes herself as normal. However, in his past hide horrors that few people can imagine.

Emmanuelle was the victim ofincest and rape in his childhood and adolescence. Facts that his mind has decided to erase through a Traumatic amnesia. An amnesia that ended up breaking, on October 17, 2023, after long months of discomfort during which Emmanuelle did not understand what tormented her.

In January, she released a book “On October 17” where she recounts this amnesia. She agreed to talk about it withNantes.

Violent memories

Mother fulfilled of three children, two boys and a girl, Emmanuelle explored several trades before becoming AESH Coordinator (support for students with disabilities).

“I normally lived, I was someone pretty speed as if I didn’t want to see,” she recalls. A peaceful life that rocks following several events: “After the death of my grandmother, I couldn’t stop, I felt that something was trying to emerge. »»

Then comes the Covidwho “breaks his rhythm”. At the end of January 2023, she put her son at school, goes up in the car to go to work and everything stops. She can’t do it, goes on stop.

Emmanuelle makes an appointment with a psychologist. “I almost canceled, but I told myself that I had to go,” she says. The meeting is going well.

I told him what I was aware of, I was going to because I had not managed to go to work and I had a complicated relationship with my daughter. I see myself telling the psychologist, on my childhood, “but we were not mistreated”. When I think back we see the path traveled.

The months go by, she continues to see the psychologist, until October. “It went very slowly, then one day I leave his cabinet and when he warns me that the next few days will be difficult,” she says. On Tuesday October 17, 2023, the dike released and followed 48 hours “horrible”.

For two days I revisit what I would later understand to be memories. I come out of it as violently ejected. It was excruciating.

Reconstruction through therapy and Sport

Going up the slope was complicated. Emmanuelle continues to go to her psychologist and is enormously supported by her husband and children.

They were shaken because I became another person.

“They adapted very well, my husband never judged me or put under pressure, the children put the problems of adolescence aside to help their mom. Today I’m better, so it comes out, they catch up, ”smiles the Nantes.

She recognizes a period of denial: “I started to accept all of this, to put the words, when I started the speech group. The forties could no longer be satisfied with the psychologist, she wanted “other solutions”.

From there, there was no more denial, I was able to speak of amnesia, incest, sexual violence.

Emmanuelle also turns to a physical activity under the advice of his psychologist. “I am not at all sporty at the base,” she laughs. first it works. Then she tries the self-defense, then boxing. “I dropped a blow and I felt something, that was what I wanted to do. Since then, she has been training regularly.

At first it was very hard to be alone in front of a man. It was a therapeutic release. The support was extra.

Sport is not his only outlet. “I have always said that one day I will write a book,” she tells us naturally. “I started writing a chapter during the summer. Before the end of the holidays, she wrote 40. Her relatives read it, and Emmanuelle decides to publish it.

A book to help

At no time in the pages of the book, is it mentioning what she suffered. The chapters are a succession of memories, of his adolescence, spent with two brothers and parents in constant confrontation, until adulthood and her life as a mother.

Amnesia is very well done, it’s very strong. Everything related to incest, my brain identified the danger and it was erasing.

“The facts are what we do not find there, the book is not there to do justice,” she insists. Emmanuelle could still file a complaint, the facts are not prescribed, but she chooses not to do so.

Emmanuelle wants readers to be able to identify with her story and “get out of something” without comparing. “Everyone reads it at their level. If one day someone comes to see me to tell me that it helped him, then I won. »»

Practical info: It is possible to buy Emmanuelle’s book by clicking here.

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